Hi there,
come on in. If you're looking for the Pity Party, that was yesterday and it was a private event. Today instead you'll get some reflections which so far have only led to perplexities.
So here I go again, wondering and pondering. I'm often accused of thinking too much. Combine that with being an empath and you've got... a mess!
It seems that lately, say the past year, I have been thinking a lot about relationships and why it always surprises me when they go awry.
I really feel handicapped in that area. I never had a BFF. My closest friends growing up were boys (an assortment of cousins and classmates). And once you're grown and married it's really not kosher to become bosom buddies with your friend's husband. And for good reasons. So I've started asking myself recently what exactly makes people tick as friends. Since moving to this country, I've had trouble forming long lasting relationships, and at the ripe age of... wait, can't give out my age! As I was saying life in the U.S. is different and making friends seems to follow rules that I can't grasp.
If you've watched the movie "Up", you'll remember Doug the talking dog who wants to belong. I feel like Doug most of the time. I'm the one who (wants to) show up early and is the last to leave. I've probably overstayed my welcome more times than I care to recount. So, I realize all this doesn't make me a good candidate for friendship. All the same, send some feedback to this perplexed gal. I'd like to know about your experiences as a grown woman, or man (don't know of any reading my blog, though) with friendship. I want to calibrate my perception of what goes on in real life, go deeper than the occasional pining, "Wow, they are really close friends!" or are they?
Although I still have old friends I keep in touch with, I came to realize that our paths lead us all in different directions and places in life. When I seemed to think I was getting very close to someone and it would always be that way, something would always happen - they move, one of us goes through a life changing crisis, they die. For one thing, I tend to expect too much of people. I'm trying to learn to accept them where they are and be happy if our paths cross. But I'm tried of trying to MAKE them cross. The only BFF for me is Jesus. He is the only one who is always with me, He really does get me, and He never goes away. So I walk the road I feel led to walk, and whoever I come across, I try to be happy that our paths met, but try not to think about how long it will last. Still, I do get attached to people along the way and do feel a great loss when we must part. Press on dear one!
ReplyDeleteThanks Cae! I need the encouragement to know that I'm not alone in this weird walk of life, as I work to let go of things that hinder me from living a full life in Christ.
DeleteI'm glad our paths have crossed once again. :-)
ReplyDelete